Thursday, December 18, 2008

4.5 Outta 5 Panamas

Thanks Clint, for giving the majesty known as the Gran Torino back its dignity and its hip as fuck cachet. Who needs an everlasting image of David Soul doin' a tuck and roll across the hood of the red Torino in a gawd-awful cop/buddy tv shit-fest. That shit doesn't even rate on the "so good it's bad" scale. I'd rather listen to a scratched up 45 of "Don't Give Up On Us Baby" a thousand times, and played on a crappy '70's Radio Shack turntable with lint on the stylus than watch an epi of S&H. S and H and...I...T.

So Clint's movie was aces. How a man who sounds like he masticates on sandpaper 24/7 can play so smooth and rocksteady is beyond me.

So I give "Gran Torino" 4.5 Panamas outta 5.

Fuck the thumbs up or thumbs down system. I'm for permanent closure of the balcony on that one. The uber fan from the "Panama" vid mouthin' "AW-RITE" whilst swimming in a sea of Halenheads is my fuckin' rating system. I wonder where this guy is now? He's probably at some bar called Snoozy McDoozy's or some shit like that, figuring out how to steer the conversation around to how he and a renegade hairdryer were once featured players in the greatest rock video ever made.

Good for him; in this great big, overcrowded world, everyone deserves to be a "Where's Waldo" at least once.

Shine on Waldo of Halen World. (Not to be confused with the Waldo from the "Hot for Teacher" vid.) Maybe I'll just call him 2 minute, 55 guy and leave it at that.

Currently listening to: Under the Western Freeway, Grandaddy

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